Halloween Do's and Dont's

Let's get real: Halloween brings out the slut in a lot of girls. For too long have the images of honorable folk like firemen and Wonder Woman been soiled by costumes full of boob waterfalls and skirts hiked up to Rocky Mountain peaks. I'd like to suggest a few alternate outfits to the same old Halloween skin party.

by: LH

INSTEAD OF: Sexy nurse
TRY: Well-respected 19th century nurse midwife

INSTEAD OF: Sexy cop
TRY: Canadian Mountie

INSTEAD OF: Sexy baseball player
TRY: 1996 Olympic gymnastics hero Kerri Strug (in Olympic sweats)

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Dorothy
TRY: Winged Monkey, as portrayed by Buster Brodie

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Catholic School Girl
TRY: Catholic School House

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Devil
TRY: Lake of Fire filled with the souls of girls who wore Sexy Devil outfits for
Halloween

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Angel
TRY: Christ on the cross (wearing Olympic sweats)

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Referee
TRY: Ferris State Women's Basketball Manager Sarah Boruta

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Fireman
TRY: Lovably Neutered Fire Station Dalmation

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Pirate
TRY: Rachel Ray

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Wonder Woman
TRY: My Mother, the biggest heroine of all

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Kitty Cat
TRY: Stray cat wearing an eye patch

INSTEADY OF: Sexy French Maid
TRY: Housekeeper at the La Quinta Inn

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Cowgirl
TRY: Caroline Ingalls (mother from TV's Little House on the Prairie)

INSTEAD OF: Sexy Little Bo Peep
TRY: The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, complete with shoe

-LH